Dancing
with Dragons How
could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races –
the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into
princesses. Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are only princesses waiting
for us to act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that
frightens us is, in the deepest essence, something helpless that wants our
love. So
you must not be frightened if sadness arises before you larger than you have
ever seen, if an anxiety like light and cloud shadows moves over your hands and
everything you do. You must realise that something has happened to you; that
life has not forgotten you; it holds you in its hands and will not let you
fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any miseries, or
any depressions? For after all, you do not know the work that these conditions
are doing inside you.
Rainer Maria Rilke, Letter to a young poet. The
disciple asked the master to tell the students about the human condition then
settled down to here what the master had to say. The master sat up looked
around the room then said, “Caught in thought.”
This may not be a very elegant answer and probably not one we want to
hear but how true it is.Whenever we experience uncomfortable emotions the mind asks, “How can I get away
from this,” How can I be free of this fear,
sadness or anxiety?”
You can't! Our attempts at getting away from negative emotions strengthens them. The problem isn't the
negative emotions but how we view them and our resistance toward them.
For
as long as there have been humans on this planet there have been myths that are
pointing to universal human truths. The dragon is one of the most long lasting
and common of mythical creatures. The dragon –the fire breathing demon- in
myths represents in ourselves what we cannot bear, what we want to turn our
backs on, what we are afraid of. Feelings and emotions don’t begin as dragons,
we turn them into dragons through our fear of them. And as in the piece by
Rilke above illustrates what they really want it to be acknowledged and loved.
This is what transforms negative emotions into allies. What we need to do is to learn to stop running away from them and learn to
dance with the dragons. We need to learn the dragon dance.
What
I normally suggest to people is to gently and kindly turn toward experience no
matter what it is. Be aware of the stories the mind is running. When we turn toward emotions
that we have habitually turned away from the mind can become unsettled.. It may
tell us reasons for not doing this, it may spill out dark scenarios about what
might happen if we stay here. If this happens be gentle but firm. Don't overdo
it, if it gets too much then that is fine, we can accept the fact that we have
had enough for the time being.
I
remember in the early 1990s when I had been meditating only a few months. I was
sitting in meditation and felt a sensation in my stomach area. The immediate
impulse was to stop and do something. However, I had committed myself to
meditation and resolved to stay put. So I gently took my awareness to that area
and it felt like a wound. As I stayed with it I noticed it felt about the size
of a small saucer. As I sat and experienced it an image came to me and the image
was of a weeping “wound.” It felt like a lot of
hurt from the past was right here in this “wound.” Intuitively I knew
that what I had to do was to be with it in a kindly way. I didn't try to do
anything to it, didn't try to get rid of it, didn't zap it with healing lights
or to work out why it was like that. I just sat with it day after day. Some
days it was strong and some days barely noticeable. After many months I noticed
that I was feeling lighter within myself, it was like I had put down a heavy load that I had been carrying for an age. At the same time I realised
that the “wound” hadn't been around for a while. It became obvious to me that
something had healed.
This
one experience gave me more trust in awareness than anything else has done.
Awareness heals our life if we have the courage to “stay at home” with
ourselves.
This
is how we transform negative feelings and emotions, how we transform dragons
into princesses...by
experiencing them. Just like flowers grow out of rotting manure so wisdom and
compassion grow out of our experience of
life, the whole of it. As we turn toward ourselves we gradually become
comfortable with what we previously found uncomfortable, our capacity to hold
life increases. Our view of life may be that if I keep pain away then I will be
happy...ask yourself whether this approach has ever really worked. To be truly happy in life we need to experience the
whole of life, it is then that the
transformation takes place. On the withered tree, a flower blooms. |
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