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There is never enough

04/04/2012 09:53:00

There is never enough

As we sit in meditation we begin to see all the stories the mind conjures up to distract usfrom being present with life as it is.

The ego mind hatesbeing with life as it is, because the ego is the resistance to how life is in this present moment. If there is no struggle then this allows us to see the ego for what it is - a belief in a separate self that seems to exist somewhere inside the body and needs to keep churning out stories about how life should be, used to be and could be. Basically the ego mind is the moving away from how things are right now. In other words theego’s motto is, this is not enough, and it needs to be different.

So in meditation we simply sit and observe. We observe the chatter, the opinions and judgments that the ego mind spins so eloquently and convincingly. When we notice those thoughts we can simply label them, “thinking,” and we are then back with thebody and the breath. We come back to the body because the body is alwayspresent. When we come back to the body we may notice subtle and not so subtlesensations of agitation or feelings like I need something, or something needsto happen for me to be happy. Our work is to embrace even these sensations.Only the ego rejects, but we as (intuitive awareness) don’t reject anything. We welcome it all!

If we persevere inour meditation eventually we notice the body relaxing on deeper and deeperlevels and all the feelings that have been “frozen out“ begin to flow again. Itis like putting a block of ice in the sun, we just wait and with patience wefind the ice melting back into its original nature, which is flowing water.

We do not fightthe ego, we don’t try to get rid of thoughts but label them and let them go.This takes patience and kindness. Can we be kind to the very habit that causesus distress? This is the way to love and peacefulness.

Thought for the day - Radio Leicester

03/14/2012 17:38:00

Thought for the day

There is lot of talk nowadays about happiness – the government has its happiness index and even film stars such as Goldie Hawn are encouraging us to think in terms of happiness and mindfulness.

It seems to me that for many of us life has become a problem rather than a joy. The media often focus on what is wrong in the world and it’s so very easy to get caught up thinking about our problems. We appear to be a culture that is problem oriented.

But are some of our problems really problems. I recall the words of Mark Twain, “I am an old man, I’ve had many problems, most of them didn’t happen.” What Mark Twain is illustrating that some of our problems only exist in our mind.

What can we do about it? Well maybe we can take the advice of the Dalai Lama here and slow down a little. Take some quiet time each day just to sit still, and rather than think about our problems – let them go. As we let them go, perhaps we may find ourselves just that little bit happier.

Does mindfulness meditation help us feel better?

03/08/2012 12:29:00

I am asked many questions about mindfulness on the courses I run, but all who ask are really asking the same question, perhaps in different ways - will meditation help me feel better? We all, no matter who it is want to feel good. My response to that question is - it's up to you. What I mean is that we need to know what it is that makes us feel good. If we think that feeling good means never being sad and afraid then no it won't help us feel good. If our attitude is to keep anything uncomfortable out of awareness then again mindfulness will not help us feel better. To begin with mindfulness is a tool and it is how we use the tool that matters.

You can try using a hammer to drill a hole if you wish but you won't get very far. You can practice mindfulness to try and control your experience if you wish, but again it won't be very effective. Trying to control your experience is not mindfulness.

So how does mindfulness meditation help us feel better? We need to realise what the purpose of meditation is. The purpose is not to have a nice experience, not to have an epiphany and know the secret of the universe, not to see the face of God, or to get in touch with the cosmic love child within The purpose of meditation is to be a friend to your self and bring an end to distress and suffering. It is knowing how we create suffering in our own experience and LET IT GO!

Perhaps you are walking down the street and the sun is shining, birds are singing and you feel good and at ease. Then perhaps you notice a dog crossing the road and it reminds you of the dog you had a few years ago. Then you are thinking that it was sad that you had to get rid of the dog because that marriage didn't work. Then you're thinking what a rotter he/she was for going off with that other woman/man. You are now feeling sad about the dog and angry about what he/she did to you. We move in a flash from feeling at ease to feeling sad and angry. But what is most interesting here is that these feelings were not created through actual life NOW, but because of your thoughts NOW. There is nothing wrong with sadness and anger if they are a response to what is actually happening in REAL life now. If they are a response to actual life then they are natural and healthy. But most of our emotions are not a result of life happening now but are created by thinking about what did happen or what might happen - not what is happening.

The work of mindfulness is not to analyse what is happening but to let go. No matter what we are thinking we let go. We may be believe we are on the verge of finally working out why we are the way we are (in actuality we never do) but the moment we realise what is happening - we let go. We let go of thinking, analysing and judging and come back to the breath. We feel of water on our hands, the sensations of footsteps on the ground, to the movement of our hips as we walk, we notice our mood and give it space but not analyse it.

If of course there is something that needs to be thought about then we can do it intentionally. We don't make an enemy of thought but we come to make it a servant of awareness and to work for us rather than against us.

Perhaps we are sitting in meditation and enjoying the sensations of the breath. Then we realise our attention has been somewhere else - that is Okay. It is not wrong but is a part of meditation. Most of us think that if our minds wander then we have done it wrong and often criticise ourselves for it, which of course brings us back to our original point about the cause of suffering. In that moment the mind has done what minds do - wander. Instead of accepting that, we criticise and condemn and create distress and suffering out of it. However, that is okay too. We can realise what is going on and LET GO! No more going over what went wrong and how bad you are for being hard on yourself. It's like getting stabbed by a dagger, then picking up another and stabbing your self with it. It is good to realise how much we are addicted to being somebody who suffers.

In mindfulness our intention is to bring our attention back to awareness. Normally our attention gets locked into our thoughts which often generate bad feelings because most of our unconscious thoughts are about what bad things may happen or how life used to be better or worse. Either way you cannot win. Get lost in thoughts and eventually you will suffer as a result. In mindfulness we notice that tendency and kindly escort our attention back to the breath or whatever it is we are doing. We need to do this time and again. We can notice where the mind wandered to for a brief moment then escort it back. We notice where the mind wandered so we get to know intimately what emotions our mind is generating.

So the message is if we want to feel better we need to let go of this insatiable appetite to attach to unconscious thinking. The moment we notice we are lost, we let go and come back to the bodily sensations and the breath. As this tendency to get lost in thought diminishes we will as a natural consequence feel better. But there is another aspect to this. We need also to allow all emotions to have a place, whether they are pleasant or unpleasant. All feelings are there to be felt and once they are felt and experienced they can move on in their own time. Experiencing our feelings is like opening two doors for them The first door is the entrance the second door is the exit. Often we see emotions as problems when in fact they are simply responses to either life or our thoughts about life. Either way they need to be experienced and allowed to move on on in their own time. We need to be a friend to all and everything.

Mindfulness - living from a place deeper than thoughts.

02/20/2012 13:34:00

A few weeks ago I had a bout of flu and of course the sore throat that seems to accompany it. My chest felt like there was a wet blanket laid on my lungs - it was all quite uncomfortable. I woke up this particular morning did the bathroom bit and went as usual to my meditation Kuti and noticed my mind making excuses not to reach it. "take the dog for a walk," "have a cup of tea first," and of course the obligatory "you should reply to that email before they change their mind."

However, I have done enough meditation to know the tricks of the mind. We will do anything to avoid a little discomfort and I knew that this session was going to be a little uncomfortable, and that is why the mind was playing its games.

I had been sitting for about five minutes and noticed that I wasn't really engaged, but had this sense of my throat hurts. It was then I decided to get involved.

A quality that is vital to mindfulness is curiosity - without it you don't have a mindfulness practice, and I find questions are an excellent way to cultivate curiosity. So instead of sitting there wishing I wasn't, I asked myself a question. The question I asked was, "what is so unbearable about this?" I then took my attention to my chest and throat area and stayed there and looked, listened and learned.

What I realised yet again was that if I listened to my assumptions and thoughts about the pain I did not want to go near it in any way. I would just grumble and bumble my way through the session of meditation. But when I took my awareness beyond thoughts and paid attention directly to the experience itself (chest & throat) it was easily bearable.

It is so easy to believe our thoughts on any situation in our lives. We believe they are the angels of wisdom and we can trust them. But this is not the case. Thoughts can tell us that we are no-good- this is true and untrue. Thoughts can tell us we cannot do something - this is true & untrue. They tell us we are unlovable - this is true & untrue. They can tell us that we will be alone forever, that we may never find a good job, that we are worse than other people or that we are better than other people - these are both true and untrue. What I mean is that if we believe them that will be a truism for us. For example, if we have the thought/assumption that we are not a very nice person then we will experience that to be true and feel and act that way. But if that thought/assumption is seen and not believed then it has no power. We are then free from their tyranny. This is why labelling thoughts in mindfulness practice is essential. When we have thoughts which are charged with emotion what we can do is label them as, anxious thoughts, angry thoughts, fantasy thoughts, panic thoughts, fearful thoughts or blaming thoughts. In this way we get to know our own mind and see just how repetitive our minds are. As we do this another thing gradually takes place and that is that these thoughts lose their power over us. This is because once we notice and label them we give them no more attention and in fact take our attention back to the the body and breath.

If we live in the world of these stampeding thoughts we are forever restless and unhappy. We can liken our minds to the ocean. There are the waves on the surface, always movement, never really still, this is the level of thought. But there are also the depths of the ocean with all its power and beauty. The depths are still and rich with life. It is the same with us, once we live free from the dictates or our thoughts we "tap into" something that is wiser and richer - more satisfying and fulfilling just in itself. We find ourselves happier and more content for no reason.

If we go back to my little adventure with my throat and chest what I did was to say to my thoughts, Yes, you are telling me that it really hurts and is unbearable but I am going to check this out for myself. And I did. And what I found was that it was bearable once I got away from believing the thoughts and to have a direct experience of the these areas. I could not find anything that was unbearable. I found sensations, I knew that there was something there that was unusual (I didn't become silly about it or go into denial, and later I still had a throat lozenge) but the experience of the throat and what the thoughts were telling me was my experience

were different.

And this is the mindful life. It is a life where we pay attention not only to thoughts but to a direct experience beyond thoughts. We learn to listen to whatever sounds, smells, sights, tastes and sensation that are present. These are not created by thoughts but happen prior to thought - and it paying attention to ourselves and our world that eventually wakes us up. And we learn another thing, the difference between true emotion which is created through contact with life as it is, and false emotion which is created through believing in thoughts.

Economic crisis?

02/10/2012 12:07:00

This is a copy of my latest Thought for the day on Radio Leicester

Whenever I turn on the news or read a newspaper I am reminded again and again of the current financial crisis facing us all.

But is it just a financial crisis? Everything has a cause, so what is the cause of this so called economic crisis? I wonder if we would be nearer the truth if we called it an emotional crisis.

It seems that for most of us our emotions in the form of desires are out of control.

We seem to be endlessly wanting - wanting more money - wanting latest designer clothes - wanting the latest gadgets - wanting more power - even wanting to be special. When we want in this way we can spend money we don’t really have – thinking the next thing will make me happy.

The consumer society makes us feel that happiness lies in having things and has failed to teach us the joy of the simple things in life.

It may be worth asking ourselves – what do I enjoy doing that doesn’t involve getting and spending?

To paraphrase the words of the Buddha – the greatest happiness is not to be found in what we can get, but is the experience of a contented heart.rite your post here.

Thoughts as Scaffolding

01/13/2012 15:48:00

THOUGHTS AS SCAFFOLDING: When I was living in the retreat centre in North Wales there was a large house about a mile away which had scaffolding holding up its "west wing" as it was leaning badly. The scaffolding as I remember had been there for many years and had done its job of holding it altogether. Recently in meditation the image of that building and scaffolding popped into my mind and I knew instantly the meaning of this.

Thoughts are like scaffolding, they hold things together. Sadly for us this is not a pleasant experience. When I say thoughts I am talking about the believed but unconscious thoughts that stampede through our heads all day long. These thoughts keep repeating the same stories and we keep believing those same stories - they keep things pretty much the same just like scaffolding. What they keep in place is our view of the world which includes ourselves. They keep in place our self image, which without all these believed thoughts would just dwindle away to dust - but leaving us a whole lot more peaceful. Or more accurately our self image would be much more fluid and flexible, not tight and rigid.

When we are held together by thought scaffolding we meet the world with pre-conceived ideas of how to act and be. These are based on past experience and normally include fear and anxiety. For example, some of us when the phone rings get anxious. For others it may be when they meet new people and they get shy or nervous. We all experience the consequences of thought scaffolding in slightly different ways - which are yours?

So mindfulness can be seen as taking away the scaffolding. Just as a scaffolder takes his time unscrewing the bots that hold it all together so the meditator takes his/her time becoming free of believed thoughts. It takes time to free ourselves from these blighters because we feel without these "image creating" thoughts we would fall to pieces. Through mindfulness meditation we can learn to trust in something that is "behind" and "beyond" this level of experience and unless we do learn this we will always be held together by thought scaffolding. What that something "beyond" thought is cannot really be described - just experienced. But the best term I know is intuitive awareness.

Radio Leicester

12/26/2011 13:02:00

Dear all, the demand for what I am doing has been increasing over recent months, particularly I think since the launch of the book. I have been interviewed on Radio Leicester about Buddhism, silence and happiness recently as well as doing some thoughts for the day.

I have also been teaching mindfulness meditation in schools. In Huntingdon I have been working with teachers and have been approached about doing some work at Regents College in Leicester.

I have a six week Buddhism course starting in January and a mindfulness and compassion meditation course starting next month too.

One of the most exciting work recently has been holding mindfulness session for Psychiatrists in the NHS. I hope to do more of this work. I think for health professionals to learn the skill of meditation is a great thing. Also though the professionals whom have learned mindfulness within a medical field would benefit lots to go back to where mindfulness developed and become familiar with its original context.

Hope all are well, Suryacitta

Space is full of happiness

12/13/2011 12:12:00

EMPTY SPACE IS FULL OF HAPPINESS. If we ever think of space at all we tend to dismiss it as irrelevant - we are more interested in the objects in space. However, without space these objects would not exist. When I say objects I am talking about everything. Space contains, the Sun, Earth and cars. It contains the internet, cheese sandwiches and love. It also contains ideas, wind, war, peace and your own body. Now space doesn't object to any of these events not even to war and hatred, it just allows them to come and to go. This space also contains, feelings of joy and feelings of sadness. It contains the hurt from criticism and the joy of praise. It also contains birth and death.

The more space-like we are the more joy and happiness we experience. However, we try to allow into space only the things we like or what we think will improve our self image. As a consequence we spend too much of our time trying to control our environment, which is impossible. If we can adopt through mindfulness meditation a space like attitude, a change takes place in our lives - a change from struggle to freedom.

We need to see that life brings everything our way and we need to be like the reed in the wind - a gust of wind comes a gust of wind goes. The reed bends that way, then it bends this way. In other words, anger arises and then anger goes. The longing for a new phone arises the longing for a new phone goes. Thoughts that say "i'm no good," or "my life is going nowhere," arise then they fall. However, instead of being space-like we have judgements and opinions about almost everything that happens and as a result we tie ourselves up in knots. We close down on life and try to experience just a portion of it. For example, we may not like to meet new people so we stay cocooned in a small familiar world because of fear.
This doesn't mean that we treat everything the same and have no values, but rather our response to the world than comes through our belly and not our head. In other words we rely on our instincts and natural "feel" for the world rather that received opinions and fears.

So whilst sitting in meditation notice how you want to control. Allow as best as you can for everything to exist for a time and then pass away. Thoughts, sensations, doubts, joy and the sound of traffic. If you do this over time a happiness and peacefulness will silently enter your life - because you have given up struggling. And when you have given up struggling the richness of life reveals itself.

Mindfulness - opening the other door

11/21/2011 12:12:00

Imagine there is a room with two doors. One door is always open the other is normally closed. Imagine also there is a line of people at the open door entering into the room. The people here never stop entering and as you can see at some point it starts to get over crowded. At some point it gets very claustrophobic and sooner or later even the walls come under strain. I wonder what happens next in your scenario?

As you may have guessed the room represents ourselves. The open door represents life and life never stops happening that is why the people never cease entering the room. The closed door is our unwillingness to experience life as it is. I am talking here mainly of the more painful emotions such as, fear, anger, sadness grief etc. When we refuse theses natural emotions and try to block them out we close the second door and risk feeling like life is too much.

Mindfulness Meditation is not about trying to close the first door so we don’t feel anything unpleasant, it is opening the second door. All experience wants simply to be experienced for a duration then allowed to pass away. This is healthy and brings an ease of being and a joy to life. However, we tend to make a problem out of emotions that seem threatening. We don’t like to feel sad for example because we may appear weak, or it seems to point to something being wrong and life not going our way. So what we do when they show their little heads is to try and shove them back down again, we close the door on them. If we keep closing the door on our emotions at some point the “walls” will come under strain and – well we know what may happen next.

We open the door by turning toward our emotions and allowing them space and keeping the door open so they can pass on. Sadness for example is a natural response to some events in life and actually “season our soul.” Sadness opens our hearts to allow others to enter. Through experiencing sadness (if it's there as we don't go looking for it) it connects us to others because the wisdom of experience shows us that we all suffer sadness. It reveals our common humanity. If we close the door on sadness we remain locked away in our own little experience of life and experience emotional claustrophobia as a result. To open the door we need to notice how we close it. Observe how you turn away from painful emotions and allow the thoughts to run rampant. We can take our attention away from the thoughts and into the felt experience of the emotions in the body. Opening the door means to experience life moment by moment.

We don't get happiness

10/31/2011 13:59:00

Meditation is finding out who we are, not about floating of into some imaginary pink cloud.

As we bring awareness to our lives we notice that this sense of self which is always needing something is actually a mental construct that exists only in our heads. It is the belief in this self that makes us feel separate from life and so we endeavour desperately to find meaning in it as compensation.

Whilst we are trying to find meaning to our life, we miss life. We turn from the wonder of life in all its glory to worrying about it because it's not going as we expect it to from the viewpoint of our own personal fears and desires. We try desperately to get life to give us meaning and happiness, when actually our life must be be an expression of meaning, and an expression of our happiness.